Why Having an Assertive Mindset is Important

Learning to have an assertive mindset is one of the most important life skills you can develop. Studies have shown that being assertive can lead to a whole host of benefits, from increased self-confidence to better relationships and improved mental and physical health.

Before you start, it’s important to understand what being assertive means. Psychologists define assertiveness as being able to express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view while respecting the rights and beliefs of others. The basis of assertiveness is mutual respect and honesty. Assertive communicators are straightforward and know how to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Their relationships value and promote trust.

If you’re serious about living an authentic life and succeeding in reaching your goals, learning to be assertive is crucial. Think about how you feel about your life right now. Are you satisfied with your personal and professional situation? Are you conflict avoidant? Do you worry about what other people think of you? If you’re not happy with where you are now, the good news is that assertiveness is a habit that can be learned just like any other. With practice and commitment, you can change your mindset and live a life more aligned with your true values and aspirations.

Peter LopezApril 10, 2020Comment

Narrow the Focus

Photo by SplitShire

Do you ever feel like you’re spinning in circles with too many goals? Are most of them conflicting? The good news is, you’re not the only one who feels that way. It's very common, and you can help solve the problem.

Here are some things you can do if you’re overwhelmed with goals.

1. Look for overlaps. Sometimes there is a natural and logical relationship between goals. Suppose you want to get healthier and to have more leisure time. Making time out for active leisure like tennis or running will accomplish both goals at once.

Sometimes two goals seem to be in direct opposition to each other, like wanting to travel and having more time at home. In this case, write out both goals and next to each of them write out why you want to do each of them. You might find that what you want is to be away from work. In this case, your real goal might be to change careers. Or, you might discover that you can satisfy your desire to travel with a short vacation or a long drive with the family. Get to the essence of the goal, and they’ll work themselves out.

Peter LopezJanuary 10, 2020Comment

Reasons vs Excuses

Microphone Check

In doing my homework on the subject, I was taken aback and even surprised to find that the word “rationalize” comes from the root word for “reason”.

This means of course that there’s a thin line between a justifiable reason and an outright excuse.

Let's break it down

Reason: A fact, situation, or intention that explains why something happened, why someone did or did not do something, or why something is true
Excuse: A lie that you give to explain why you have done something or have not done something that you should have done.

Drum Roll Please

Reasons protect us and guard us, they propel us to the next step to accomplishing our goals, but here comes the pause… How can you tell whether your reasons for not doing something are a bump on the road or really an excuse?

Reasons quickly can become excuses when they require too many explanations. Even if your reasons are true, it doesn't make them right.

Peter LopezJune 9, 2017Comment

Escucha con tu boca. Habla con tus oidos.

La importancia de escuchar no puede dejar de destacarse, en especial hoy en día.

Mi difunto padre, el gran Pedro Lopez Sr. Siempre me decía que los mejores oyentes no escuchan mientras esperan hablar; los mejores escuchan, escuchan una vez más, procesan lo que se ha dicho, y luego hablan.

Ser un buen oyente se me inculcó desde muy joven.

Entonces, ¿cómo te conviertes en un mejor oyente?

1. Piensa en la gente con la que estás, en lugar de en ti mismo.

Tu capacidad de escucharlos- y quiero decir, realmente escucharlos- se amplifica cuando no estás concentrado en algo de tu propia vida. Cuando todos los problemas y el drama de tu propia vida no estan en el primer plano de tu mente, la rapidez con la que escuchas se agudiza. Escuchar te ayuda a definir su momento, no el tuyo.

2. No interrumpas.

Cuando mi hijo tenía problemas de tartamudeo, se me dijo que si le permitía terminar sus oraciones y pensamientos sin interrumpirle

Peter LopezJune 9, 2017 Comment

"Listen with your Mouth and talk with your Ears"

The importance of listening can’t really be stressed enough, especially today.

My dad the late great Pedro Lopez Sr. would always tell me that the best listeners don’t listen while waiting to speak, the best listen, listen again, digest what was said, then speak.

It was instilled in me to be a good listener from very early on.

So how do you become a better listener?

1. Think about the people you’re with rather than yourself.

Your capacity to hear them – and I mean really hear them – is amplified when you’re not concentrated on something in your own life. It sharpens your quickness to hear when all the problems and drama from your own life aren't in the forefront of your mind. Listening helps you define their moment, not yours.

2. Don't Interrupt.

When my son had a stuttering issue, I was told that if I let him finish his sentences and thoughts without interrupting, it would help him to feel like a fully expressive human being. It was important for me to hear him...

Peter LopezMay 31, 2017 Comments

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